Kitty
by The Neliel Tu
Summary: Grimmjow made a big mistake in showing off his release form, and it's only after when he realizes the consequences. Rated for swearing.


_Ah, so I was listening to "Kitty" by The Presidents of the United States of America, and this idea just like…smacked me upside the head and went "OY! DIP! WRITE THIS!" and I went "Oh…okay." _

_So, here it is. Grimmjow abuse._

_Also, listened to "Kitty" on repeat while writing this. _

_"Kitty" belongs to PUSA, hope you don't mind the random lyrics. _

_Also, Bleach is NOT mine. _

_And, just a warning, there ARE a lot of grammar errors, I'm well aware. Please don't pick on those, just enjoy the story. The errors are meant to be there. _

_ENJOY! _

&

"_Meow, meow, meow meow meow meow meow meow_." Grimmjow muttered. His eyes widened in surprise. "The fuck did I say that for? I'm no fucking cat!" he grumbled.

"_Little bag of bones been out all night._" Gin crooned to Grimmjow.

"The…fuck?" he was perplexed, and had no fucking idea what the hell Gin was doing. Though, Gin was surely going to suffer a cero through his torso if he did not shut the hell up.

"_Little bag of bones been out all night._" Gin repeated.

"The hell? Seriously, Gin, what the fuck are you smoking?"

"_Kitty, you're scratching at the screen door._" Aizen wandered up and joined Gin.

"Seriously! What the hell are you doing? What the fuck?"

"_Kitty you're scratching at the screen door." _

"WHAT THE HELL IS A SCREEN DOOR??"

_"Little bag of bones been out all night." _Gin chorused.

_"He needs some petting and loving on his head._" Aizen mused.

"_He needs some petting and loving on his rain-soaked hide._" Gin seemed to agree.

"Okay, first off all, you are NOT fucking touching me, rulers or not. Second, my hide is NOT rain-soaked!" he glared, and circled around the two, staring at them menacingly.

"_He's circlin' round my ankle…he's circlin' round my ankle…_" Gin's smile never let up.

"What…the…fuck?"

"_He needs some pettin' on his hide…_" Aizen purred.

"_Oh, kitty, won't you come inside?_" Gin motioned to a door.

"FUCK NO!"

With that said, Grimmjow stalked away, effectively losing Gin and Aizen. What the hell was with them, anyway? That was just…fucked up!

The next thing he knew, he had collided with something. Something soft, and—soft? He was on a foot, next, looking up at an emotionless Halibel.

"_Kitty on my foot and I wanna touch it…_" She made a motion to touch him.

"Wh—what?"

"_Kitty. On. My. Foot. And. I. Wanna. Touch. It._" She made a fist. His eyes widened.

"Oh, hell no. Hell fucking no! NO! You are not fucking touching me, Halibel!" He ran off once more, hearing Halibel's _'Kitty on my foot and I wanna touch it'_s as he did so.

This day was just getting weirder and weirder. Maybe showing off his released form the other night had not been such a good idea, after all.

He vaguely wondered if that had anything to do with everyone's strange behaviour.

The next thing he knew, he was face to face with a green-haired espada. Neliel Tu Oderschvank? His eyes widened in surprise.

"_Meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow…_WHAT THE FUCK DID I SAY THAT FOR?!"

This prompted a giggle from the busty green-haired espada, and for a moment, Grimmjow thought maybe, just maybe she would not act all weird like the others.

Then, she was cradling him in her arms and petting his head, making sure to scratch behind his ears. Despite himself, he was purring, and he was relaxed. Though the thoughts 'The hell is this all about?' and 'This is so fucking humiliating,' kept running through his mind, somehow, he did not mind this treatment so much.

"_Pussy purring and looking so satisfied._" Neliel crooned to him.

"Did you just…hell no, you did not just call me a pussy."

"_Pussy purring and looking so satisfied._"

Again? Seriously, what the hell? "I'm not a pussy." He argued weakly.

"_Lost in his little blue round eye…lost in his little blue round eye…pussy purring and looking so satisfied._"

Well, he was satisfied. This part of the weirdness, he did not really mind. She was petting him, and he felt _good_, dammit.

Then, she shoved him away and bounded away, giggling.

"What the fuck, woman?" he growled, and then stalked through the halls, his good mood spoiled once more.

He moved into the desert of Hueco Mundo, only to find Kurosaki Ichigo.

"Ah, Shinigami." He said in a mocking tone. He ran up to the kid and scratched at him angrily, wondering why the _hell_ wasn't he using Pantera? Seriously, this was fucked up!

"_Kitty rear up and scratch me through my jeans!" _Ichigo screamed.

"What? You're asking for it, Kurosaki." Grimmjow growled, not stopping his scratching for some reason.

"_KITTY REAR UP AND SCRATCH ME THROUGH MY JEANS!_"

What the fuck was Kurosaki doing in Hueco Mundo, anyway?

"_Fuck you kitty, you're gonna spend the night…FUCK YOU KITTY, you're gonna spend the night…OUTSIDE!_"

"What the fuck ever." Grimmjow turned and walked away, back into Las Noches.

Upon arriving, he heard a distant "_Wanna touch it, wanna touch it, wanna touch it, wanna touch it! Wanna touch it!_"

With each word, the voice got closer, until he could distinguish it as Halibel's, and boy, was she ever pissed.

"_Kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty…touch it!_" She called, as though saying "Here kitty, kitty, come get dinner, kitty, kitty!"

"NO! You don't want to touch me in a good way! You're not fucking touching me! GET THE FUCK AWAY!"

"_Kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty…touch it!_"

"NO!"

"_Kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty…touch it!_"

"NO DAMMIT!!"

But by then, it was too late. She was already there, beating the living shit out of him.

"_Kitty on my foot, and I'm __**gonna**__ touch it." _

-End-


End file.
